Love Marriage vs. Arranged Marriage..
Or Better Still... "Arranged Love Marriage"
The question was raised in a forum at http://lovechandigarh.com/
Would you let your parents find a life partner for you, someone of your caste, religion, status and every thing else.
Or
Marry someone you love and trust? [by Dhillon]
Here’s what I have to say about it..:
I won’t vote for either of them. Both have their own benefits and drawbacks. I would rather go for what I call “Arranged Love Marriage”. I don’t particularly support the idea of dating, having a g/f or b/f for months/years. The reason is simple.. 95% of these relationships don’t go even as far as the question of marriage. Majority of those who are serious relationships and do go that far are often based on pretence and unrealistic expectations. Both of these are dangerous for future married life.
An arranged marriage in the traditional sense is also a bit of a gamble. You might get the best partner you can ever find, or you might find the worst. It is however found in arranged marriages that if both the partners have agreed to the arranged marriage, then they tend to commit themselves to the relationship completely and try quite hard to make it work.
There are many other reasons for me to believe that both the systems are flawed. “Arranged Love Marriage” on the other hand can be a bliss if used sensibly. Wouldn’t it be better if we chose our life partner out of so many people we like in life, still keeping in mind the requirements of our family. The person of our likes (our love in other words) can then be accepted in our family and the marriage can be arranged by the family, leaving everyone happy. Some seem to stress over the issue way too much. I believe that there is no reason why you can’t find a good partner without stepping outside the limits set by your family such as religion.
As far as religion, caste and status etc. are concerned, I only stand for the religion. Caste is a curse on our society that opinion of mine is supported by my religion. That’s why my personal choice is a Sikh female who understands and respects the religion. My family may have minor problems with the cast factor, however it is manageable.
So there we go.. Mr. Dhillon, you might have to add “Arranged Love Marriage” to the list of options in the survey.
Waheguru Rakha
Balraj
posted by Balraj at 8:00 am
10 Comments:
That's exactly what I said in the forum in lovechandigarh.com. Strange but that's exactly the same lines I wrote. You voted for arranged marriage there, So I left a question for you there. I have a question for you here as well. If you fall in love with a girl who is not from a Sikh family (I assume you don't command your feelings), WOuld you not marry her only because she is not from a Sikh background. And I appreciate your vies on caste!!
Navneet
(I don't mind you mentioning my name, I like my name :p )
like you said , both have their pro's and con's.....but in the end....i still believe in love marriages......
guess i'm a passionate person......
oh and navneet....to answer ur question......he won't think twice about marrying anyone outside his religion......
Yeah Navneet, I read your comments on lovechandigarh.com as well and it’s kinda weird how similar our views are. My answer there was not actually “Arranged Marriage”. I was the first one to write about that issue on there but I didn’t write the whole story there. I just wrote a line or two and then put a link onto this page so that you could read the rest of the story here. The admin staff seems to have deleted that link and simply put “Arranged Marriage” there. So since I was the first one to reply to that post, I guess I can still claim the credit for it.. lol, just joking.
Anyway, my answer to your question above is NO. I will not consider marrying a girl from another religion. To me, although you don’t rule your feelings, your feelings do have direct connection with your priorities/likes/dislikes etc in life. My major reason for wanting to marry only a Sikh girl is that I believe that Sikhism is a huge part of my life, in fact Sikhism is what I am. It’s my identity. I also believe that only a woman practicing Sikhism can understand me properly.
I hope that answers your question.
Balraj
Sydneychamp what if the woman you marry stops or doesn’t want to practice Sikhism for what ever reason after marriage, what will you do then?
Dhillon
Lovechandigarh.com
You have a Strong opinion when it comes to marriage.I know its better if you marry someone from your religion in a sense that compatibility will be more.But you should not be too stubborn.Life is too unpredictable.
Well,lets wait till you find someone you think you could get along with :p
Navneet
You have a Strong opinion when it comes to marriage.I know its better if you marry someone from your religion in a sense that compatibility will be more.But you should not be too stubborn.Life is too unpredictable.
Well,lets wait till you find someone you think you could get along with :p
haha... STUBBORN..? Come on Navneet, I'm sure i'm still more flexible in this respect. From our discussion and your messages on lovechandigarh.com it appeared that you’ll probably have an arranged marriage where you’ll not only have religion but also your caste as a restriction.
Anyway, I’m sure we’ll all find someone to spend the life well.
So cheers :)
lols@we all will find someone. Obviously you will sind someone but that someone shud be gud as well :p
Hmm don't pick on me to prove yourself right. Yes, i do have caste as a restriction but that's not my opinion.Thats a restriction put on me by my family.Whereas in your case its your personal opinion.I aint saying you are wrong but try to be a little more flexible with your views.
And ya I will go for lovecumarranged marriage If I do happen to like someone(nd I said that at lovechd as well ).But in case I don't find someone ,it obviously would be arranged...
lols@we all will find someone. Obviously you will sind someone but that someone shud be gud as well :p
Hmm don't pick on me to prove yourself right. Yes, i do have caste as a restriction but that's not my opinion.Thats a restriction put on me by my family.Whereas in your case its your personal opinion.I aint saying you are wrong but try to be a little more flexible with your views.
And ya I will go for lovecumarranged marriage If I do happen to like someone(nd I said that at lovechd as well ).But in case I don't find someone ,it obviously would be arranged...
navneet
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